


Become a Professor of Studiosity at NICHE

by Elf (Elfwreck)



Category: Niche (Video Game)
Genre: Academia, College Degrees, Gen, Humor, Kickstarter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-30
Updated: 2016-05-30
Packaged: 2018-07-11 05:08:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 397
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7030237
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elfwreck/pseuds/Elf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Biolology is no longer the only degree available for Niche students.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Become a Professor of Studiosity at NICHE

**Author's Note:**

> Written to meet [Niche Kickstarter](https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/80250451/niche-a-genetics-survival-game/description) fan-art stretch goals.

Students at Niche Institute of College Higher Education are not limited to Biolology degrees anymore! NICHE has expanded its teaching capacity, just like genetic drift expands the survival capacity of a species, and now offers several diplomas in different fields which may be of use to students interested in the mating habits of cute fox-like creatures.

CHEMEMISTRY DEGREE is offered to those who squish the juice out of plants, extract blood and other fluids from animals, grind up rocks, and throw the results together to find out if the result is "medicine" or "an explosion." If you survive four years of ~~experimentation~~ research, you get a degree; if you do so without losing body parts, you get a Mega Some Louder degree.

HISTORICITY DEGREE is offered to students who read old papers nobody else cares about, and then tell everyone else what they said and why anyone should care, which mostly, they don't. But reading enough documents and adding your own to the stack of documents for future students to read can get you a nice shiny diploma to show off.

ARTISINALISM DEGREE is for students who don't care what's going on inside an animal or the environment as long as it's beautiful. They study how the seasons affect fur color and density, the best places to put a river so the sunlight glinting off the water reflects on lizard-critters' scales, and how to edit screencaps of night scenes so you can tell what's going on. (If what's going on is not suitable for public review, they may get a minor in Adulterated Studies, which teaches them how to put black bars over some parts of the anatomy shown in the screencaps.)

EDUMICATION DEGREE is for students who don't want to do any of that but want to teach other people how to. Majoring in Edumication will teach you how to hand out assignments and mark papers with impressive-sounding notes like "good affrixative usage!" and "needs more cowbell."

Whatever your field of interest, NICHE has a degree waiting for you! Just send in your money, do a whole bunch of homework handed to you by strangers wearing goofy wigs and fake glasses, and you'll have an awesome-shiny piece of paper with your name on it, declaring that you are a Professor of Studiosity; you'll be legally and morally able to sign all your letters with P.S.!


End file.
